PINK
pink. the color of my heart.
the love bite on my neck.
pink. the color of your tongue.
in real only a lighter red.
pink. the shade of your skin on that photo.
and on the lips of your lover.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Dear Self Loathing Imbeciles
A note to all egomaniac, insecure, self-loathing and people hating freaks of nature; you are not God, you are not Godsends, you do not own people and furthermore neither does God. There are an endless stream of insults I can still come up with but so much negativity is really tiring.
If you feel the need to exercise your self-given power over your so-called loved one, making them bend over backwards, cut off ties with their friends, meaningless ex-flings, show you their phone and internet history, accuse them of things that have never happened, spread lies about them and their friends to the point the poor person is now buying anti-depressants strips faster than a crack addict shoots up and have lost weight like an anorexic, you are fucking ridiculously insane. Nobody owns anyone, get over yourself.
And to those morons who are hopelessly devoted to these narcissistic, selfish people, I may have called you 'poor' before, but I don't really mean it. I can empathize to a certain point but I am pretty sure we all have limits yeah? Your happiness comes first. You are not a dog on a bloody leash. You don't roll over when you're told to roll over. You don't sit when you're told to sit. You don't run after the friggin bone when they say 'fetch'.
I hope you know we are all free human beings. I deserve my happiness, you deserve yours. I have my peace and so should you.
Grow the fuck up.
If you feel the need to exercise your self-given power over your so-called loved one, making them bend over backwards, cut off ties with their friends, meaningless ex-flings, show you their phone and internet history, accuse them of things that have never happened, spread lies about them and their friends to the point the poor person is now buying anti-depressants strips faster than a crack addict shoots up and have lost weight like an anorexic, you are fucking ridiculously insane. Nobody owns anyone, get over yourself.
And to those morons who are hopelessly devoted to these narcissistic, selfish people, I may have called you 'poor' before, but I don't really mean it. I can empathize to a certain point but I am pretty sure we all have limits yeah? Your happiness comes first. You are not a dog on a bloody leash. You don't roll over when you're told to roll over. You don't sit when you're told to sit. You don't run after the friggin bone when they say 'fetch'.
I hope you know we are all free human beings. I deserve my happiness, you deserve yours. I have my peace and so should you.
Grow the fuck up.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Day 1
Observation - Still numb, I assume. There have been no clear, salty saline solutions, much like last year. No need for edibles with a 4-day binge on Bali cuisine in Indonesia. Does one need an associate to validate one's life? First to set priorities straight. Bali cuisine. THAT's where my priorities lie.
A friend just told me about Melody Gardot so I checked out the following song by her aaanndd... fell in love as I fell out of love... or as I swum around with love... or as I let it suffocate me. Beautifully written poetry is always well appreciated, and her voice and lyrics did justice to music and to whatever genre her music is classified as.
Artist Melody Gardot
Song Our Love is Easy
It made me imagine in black and white, zooming in on the picture in slow motion. A girl smoking her cigarette, lying on the sofa, mingling with the shadows in this dark room where the only shard of light comes through the gap between the two curtains. A lazy Sunday... a hazy love of confusion.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Not Unpertubed
She tried to drink her troubles away, she tried to smoke up her sadness into vapor
She made friends with everyone
And painted their days gold
She talked to people, she talked to herself, she talked to God and she talked to the walls
She lay in bed, not unperturbed
And drew orb-like flowers
As days went by and she grew older, felt she was getting wiser but just only colder
Numbers didn't matter, nor did people
For coloring her world was not needed
She drank until her fears haunted every childhood, teenage and adult memory
Until the nightmares failed to leave
And until her eyes finally closed
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Sigur Ros : Svefn-G-Englar
19.02.2011 : The day I walked out of work before my working hours ended officially and plopped down on top of a stuffed bear to watch "Svefn-G-Englar" by Sigur Ros. I must thank Nurt for showing it to me - I actually think I might have gone through life without watching the video... an unforgettable, and award winning video I don't think anyone should miss out on.
Svefn-G-Englar seems to be a play on words, translating to "sleepwalkers" or "Sleep Angels".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ5Grncdjlc
Directed by August Jacobsson and featuring the Reykjavik's Perlan Theatre Group
What made the video special for me at first were the quotes that appeared on the lower right hand corner of the screen. They were words that had been unimaginably beautifully uttered and had left their traces in the ever invisible, intangible weightless atmosphere of thoughts and memories.
The quotes... they made perfect sense and to me, couldn't have been said any better. I am not even going to write any comments or thoughts or feelings about the first three as I am pretty sure the words are so strong in their own sense, and so naked in its meaning that there's little room left for confusion or even disagreement.
I took the liberty of writing them down here, the first four are my favorites and placed in preferred order. The rest, as they appear in the video.
[the below list was amended today - #2 was originally #9, and the previous quote that was at #2 is now at #5]
1. “Without music, life would be a mistake” - Nietzcne
2. “In the end I think of music as saving grace for all humanity” – Henry Miller
3. “A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence” – Leopold Stokowski
4. “See deep enough, and you see musically; the heart of nature being everywhere music” – Thomas Carlyle
NOTE ABOUT 4. : This one made me think about one of my... what can I say... ideas? perceptions? thoughts? a realization? that I had a couple of months ago... perhaps even a year ago... I can't recall exactly but - it came to my notice that I hear and register a lot of things in beats and rhythms. It could be the filing of a nail in a salon, the hammering and metal works at a construction site, the ringing clinks of cutlery, footsteps - running or walking - and even the hum of engines on a motorbike, a car or some other vehicle.
I sometimes wished I could separate the noises into different files like you do in a recording program where it lets you record music in multi-tracks. I bet if that happened, that when all the sounds we hear around us are broken down to different tracks, we would find and see that each did have it's own special rhythm and it is simply difficult to hear it amidst the chaos of everyday life.
I wondered after reading this whether that was along the lines of what Thomas Carlyle had meant.
5. “Music was invented to confirm human loneliness” – Lawrence Durrell
6. “Music is the shorthand of emotion” – Leo Tolstoy
7. “Music expresses that which cannot be said on which it is impossible to be silent” – Victor Hugo
8. “Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything” – Plato
9. “Music can name the un-nameable and communicate the unknowable” – Leonard Bernstein
10. “Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite” – Thomas Carlyle
What then made the video special for me, will come in another post.
Svefn-G-Englar seems to be a play on words, translating to "sleepwalkers" or "Sleep Angels".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ5Grncdjlc
Directed by August Jacobsson and featuring the Reykjavik's Perlan Theatre Group
What made the video special for me at first were the quotes that appeared on the lower right hand corner of the screen. They were words that had been unimaginably beautifully uttered and had left their traces in the ever invisible, intangible weightless atmosphere of thoughts and memories.
The quotes... they made perfect sense and to me, couldn't have been said any better. I am not even going to write any comments or thoughts or feelings about the first three as I am pretty sure the words are so strong in their own sense, and so naked in its meaning that there's little room left for confusion or even disagreement.
I took the liberty of writing them down here, the first four are my favorites and placed in preferred order. The rest, as they appear in the video.
1. “Without music, life would be a mistake” - Nietzcne
2. “In the end I think of music as saving grace for all humanity” – Henry Miller
3. “A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence” – Leopold Stokowski
4. “See deep enough, and you see musically; the heart of nature being everywhere music” – Thomas Carlyle
NOTE ABOUT 4. : This one made me think about one of my... what can I say... ideas? perceptions? thoughts? a realization? that I had a couple of months ago... perhaps even a year ago... I can't recall exactly but - it came to my notice that I hear and register a lot of things in beats and rhythms. It could be the filing of a nail in a salon, the hammering and metal works at a construction site, the ringing clinks of cutlery, footsteps - running or walking - and even the hum of engines on a motorbike, a car or some other vehicle.
I sometimes wished I could separate the noises into different files like you do in a recording program where it lets you record music in multi-tracks. I bet if that happened, that when all the sounds we hear around us are broken down to different tracks, we would find and see that each did have it's own special rhythm and it is simply difficult to hear it amidst the chaos of everyday life.
I wondered after reading this whether that was along the lines of what Thomas Carlyle had meant.
5. “Music was invented to confirm human loneliness” – Lawrence Durrell
6. “Music is the shorthand of emotion” – Leo Tolstoy
7. “Music expresses that which cannot be said on which it is impossible to be silent” – Victor Hugo
8. “Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything” – Plato
9. “Music can name the un-nameable and communicate the unknowable” – Leonard Bernstein
10. “Music is well said to be the speech of angels; in fact, nothing among the utterances allowed to man is felt to be so divine. It brings us near to the infinite” – Thomas Carlyle
What then made the video special for me, will come in another post.
Monday, September 27, 2010
New found subject
It's yet another rainy day in Male'... puddles, raincoats, umbrellas and people without raincoats or umbrellas rushing around with various objects covering their heads... plastic bags, paper bags, a book, a set of papers or both their hands... and the monsoon never seemed to end. Perhaps as the ancient Mayans had predicted, the world is going to deplete in 2012 and this was her way of letting us know the end is nearing, and to slowly start preparing for it. But how do we prepare for that I wonder? Obviously I for one, have many dreams yet to accomplish, and many exotic, breathtaking places to travel and conquer.
As usual, wandering thoughts of my mind has lead me to talk about something very unrelated to what I originally titled this post for and wanted to write about. Hence instead, I shall talk about this new found subject. <-- I wrote to that point on 27 Sep 10 and now I am wondering whether the new found subject was the world ending in 2012 or my dreams of jet-setting. Hmm...
As usual, wandering thoughts of my mind has lead me to talk about something very unrelated to what I originally titled this post for and wanted to write about. Hence instead, I shall talk about this new found subject. <-- I wrote to that point on 27 Sep 10 and now I am wondering whether the new found subject was the world ending in 2012 or my dreams of jet-setting. Hmm...
Friday, September 17, 2010
the day we beached Contiti
Dear reader,
Remember those really old “cartoon flashbacks” inside the cartoons we used to watch? The ones that came with a jumpy trumpety-song and a too-jolly voice of a man with a greasy slob slicked back and parted in the middle wearing a bow tie and a penguin suit? The following has absolutely no connection to this, but I thought I’d just write it here. Well, mainly because I sometimes read things in funny voices, thought I’d let you know.
After traveling to Noonu Atoll Randheli, I spent two days inside Fabio’s hut, watching movie after movie, Nacho Libre for the first time, and on the second day, a second time. I woke up on the third day and decided it being my last here, I should go out and get some sun.
Fabio and I decided to take Contiti – the 15-foot dinghy – out for a ride. We donned on sun tan and shades, got the masks and fins and boarded the vessel. And off we went, speeding into the hot balmy day towards Dhigurah, an island named aptly for which when translated literally means ‘long’ – Dhigu, and ‘island’ – rah.
Upon not finding a solid enough rock or coral mass to tie Contiti to, we instead beached her. I said lets explore the island so we set off walking to our left. About 50 meters in, Fabio said to keep on walking, he’d meet me by the other end of the beach and headed back to the dinghy. So walk I did, and came across a little cove-like patch where the beach had eroded and I could see the roots as well as the tree. It was beautiful. I stood under a canvas that was hundreds of leaves of trees leaning out towards the sea. It was eerily calming. I looked out to the horizon and saw rain clouds had gathered and started pouring. The wind was picking up and I knew rain was on its way.
A little while I waited and then kept on walking, leaving the soft sand with my imprints. I looked back and saw Fabio by the dinghy. Couple of minutes later I looked again and saw Fabio still by the dinghy, so then I turned and went back and was met by a sheepish man who hadn’t managed to get the boat back into the sea. I just assumed he was a bit unfit. So I said, lets try both of us. Lets do this!
And then began the utmost massive task of getting a 15-foot (or maybe 20 that's what Fabio said but I still think it's 15), massively heavy boat off the beach. We had to be quick and skillful, moving at the right time when the right waves came. James Bond and Fatima Blush we were! On the same team though. Oh man... At one point I swear I heard Fabio’s shorts cry for mercy as both of his legs (wait, why am I thinking about an isosceles triangle and one of my theories about it though I cannot recall what exactly my theory was about?) formed a party hat shape? Then I was down on my back with my arms as pillars and legs propped against the boat.
After what seemed like an hour of pushing – from which I now have learned and gained the age old reproduction method experience of giving birth, the possibility of a hernia and the quite-near-possibility of crapping myself – we huffed and we puffed and we blew the god damn boat off the beach! There were moments when we thought we couldn't push anymore, but we encouraged ourselves to keep on fighting like soldiers in a gruesome battle. A moment when I thought my face was forever going to be stuck like this, like I was on the toilet and trying to push out the fattest crap ever in recorded history. A time when our shorts and pants occupied enough sand to build a house or two.
Whose brilliant idea was it to beach Contiti? Mine.
*Then you hear the jumpy trumpety-song again as the red – or black and white if that’s what you imagined – velvet curtains closed down*
More stories of Fabio and Mulsifid coming your way
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