the day we beached Contiti

Dear reader,

Remember those really old “cartoon flashbacks” inside the cartoons we used to watch? The ones that came with a jumpy trumpety-song and a too-jolly voice of a man with a greasy slob slicked back and parted in the middle wearing a bow tie and a penguin suit? The following has absolutely no connection to this, but I thought I’d just write it here. Well, mainly because I sometimes read things in funny voices, thought I’d let you know.

After traveling to Noonu Atoll Randheli, I spent two days inside Fabio’s hut, watching movie after movie, Nacho Libre for the first time, and on the second day, a second time. I woke up on the third day and decided it being my last here, I should go out and get some sun.

Fabio and I decided to take Contiti – the 15-foot dinghy – out for a ride. We donned on sun tan and shades, got the masks and fins and boarded the vessel. And off we went, speeding into the hot balmy day towards Dhigurah, an island named aptly for which when translated literally means ‘long’ – Dhigu, and ‘island’ – rah.

Upon not finding a solid enough rock or coral mass to tie Contiti to, we instead beached her. I said lets explore the island so we set off walking to our left. About 50 meters in, Fabio said to keep on walking, he’d meet me by the other end of the beach and headed back to the dinghy. So walk I did, and came across a little cove-like patch where the beach had eroded and I could see the roots as well as the tree. It was beautiful. I stood under a canvas that was hundreds of leaves of trees leaning out towards the sea. It was eerily calming. I looked out to the horizon and saw rain clouds had gathered and started pouring. The wind was picking up and I knew rain was on its way.

A little while I waited and then kept on walking, leaving the soft sand with my imprints. I looked back and saw Fabio by the dinghy. Couple of minutes later I looked again and saw Fabio still by the dinghy, so then I turned and went back and was met by a sheepish man who hadn’t managed to get the boat back into the sea. I just assumed he was a bit unfit. So I said, lets try both of us. Lets do this!

And then began the utmost massive task of getting a 15-foot (or maybe 20 that's what Fabio said but I still think it's 15), massively heavy boat off the beach. We had to be quick and skillful, moving at the right time when the right waves came. James Bond and Fatima Blush we were! On the same team though. Oh man... At one point I swear I heard Fabio’s shorts cry for mercy as both of his legs (wait, why am I thinking about an isosceles triangle and one of my theories about it though I cannot recall what exactly my theory was about?) formed a party hat shape? Then I was down on my back with my arms as pillars and legs propped against the boat.

After what seemed like an hour of pushing – from which I now have learned and gained the age old reproduction method experience of giving birth, the possibility of a hernia and the quite-near-possibility of crapping myself – we huffed and we puffed and we blew the god damn boat off the beach! There were moments when we thought we couldn't push anymore, but we encouraged ourselves to keep on fighting like soldiers in a gruesome battle. A moment when I thought my face was forever going to be stuck like this, like I was on the toilet and trying to push out the fattest crap ever in recorded history. A time when our shorts and pants occupied enough sand to build a house or two.

Whose brilliant idea was it to beach Contiti? Mine.

*Then you hear the jumpy trumpety-song again as the red – or black and white if that’s what you imagined – velvet curtains closed down*

More stories of Fabio and Mulsifid coming your way